i’m fluent in talking shit

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When I love you,
I really fucking love you.
There are no in betweens.
I don’t know what grey is.
My love is black and white.
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at my school there’s an english teacher and an american teacher and they always glare at each other and when they pass each other in the hallway the american teacher will say ‘good show governor’ or something and the english teacher will say ‘god bless the land of the free’ and both in terrible accents and like the whole school ships it

when i first read this i thought to myself, what school teaches american as a subject?

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Me: This older generation pisses me off so much
Therapist: Why?
Me: Because when I was growing up, we were forcefed the idea that if we didn't want to be 'flipping burgers at McDonalds,' then we'd better go to college.
Therapist: And?
Me: And now we've all gone to college, have degrees, can't get a damn job, and the same people that told us to go to college call us entitled assholes because we refuse to flip burgers
Therapist: Touche
Source: joshdcomp via wonderland-anarchist




I’ll bet you’d look adorable grasping at the sheets on my bed

no matter how many times u compliment me im not making ur bed

this has to be one of the best responses I’ve gotten to this text post

Source: thrashturbate via ithurtssomuch


Robin Williams recorded his dialogue for the Genie at the same time - and across the street from - the filming of Schindler’s List, one of the most depressing movies of all time.

After he was done every day, Robin would go across the street to cheer up the cast of Schindler and make them laugh with recordings of his improvised material from that day.

I just thought you all might want to know that story.

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